Sex and Healthy Culture 1 (Poetic Posts)

{Note: every once in a while I'll visit a site that interests me and invariably make some posts relating whatever the topic is to healthy culture. Sometimes interesting exchanges ensue. I find myself more inspired to write when I am conversion with actual people than in making unilateral reports to a relatively unknown "public", which I guess explains the relative lack of posts on this page. What follows is mostly my part in various online discussions and correspondences mostly on the general topic of healthy culture (what is published here is mostly my responses because) I don't always feel right quoting the other party without their permission. Most of the discussion happened a "Reuniting; Healing with Sexual Rhttp://www.reuniting.info/elationships" (http://www.reuniting.info/). The Site is about Kerrezza mostly but there is also discussion of Tantra and similar nonejaculatory sexual practices.}

My first post to the site was called "poetic confirmation" in which a share a poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay which I thought captured a lot of the point of the site (which has a lot to do with the idea the orgamic sex is our brains way of tricking us into unsustainable (or at least unsustained) relationships in the service of spreading genes. Here is the poem and the subsequent exchange:

Poetic Confirmation:

I Shall Forget You Presently, My Dear (by Edna St Vincent Millay)

I shall forget you presently, my dear,

So make the most of this, your little day,

Your little month, your little half a year,

Ere I forget, or die, or move away,

And we are done forever; by and by

I shall forget you, as I said, but now,

If you entreat me with your loveliest lie

I will protest you with my favorite vow.



I would indeed that love were longer-lived,

And oaths were not so brittle as they are,

But so it is, and nature has contrived

To struggle on without a break thus far,—

Whether or not we find what we are seeking

Is idle, biologically speaking.

This was the Reply:

"Ole Edna nailed it. Isn't it about time humans learned to outsmart biology??? It's challenging, but actually quite enjoyable to do so."

To which I replied with a post entitled:

dualism, specialization & solution addiction (I digress a bit)

well, I am somewhat uncomfortable with the dualism implied in the Idea of out "out-smarting biology". I am big in to the "Mind-Body" thing which, when you think about it (at least when I think about it) translates into a view of Nature itself (as a kind of "Shared" Body) being inseparable of some kind of greater Shared Mind, or "Shared Self"; I am not sure what this implies for your and Edna's thesis, but even in term of the the "biology" paradigm, the so called higher brain and fore brain are just as much "biology" as the limbic and reward systems so the problem really seems to be one of poor coordination or integration of the various functions and aspects of the brain/mind as a whole such that the problem can be seen as just a much with the forebrain as with the limbic/reward system.

Of course one of the misuses of the fore brain is a failure to coordinate problems, with the result that a solution to one problem leads to other, sometimes even bigger problems in other unconsidered areas of life. For example many people lose weight and then become smokers, finally become clean of drugs by becoming workaholics, overcome "sex addiction" through what Anne Wilson Shaefe ("Fear of Intimacy") would call "Relationship Addiction" etc. The "Self Help" market itself might be understood as fostering a kind of "addiction to specialized solutions", each "solution" giving a kind of dopamine high while it lasts while ones life as a whole, (and the world and society as a whole) continue to disintegrate regardless of the short term spikes in the graph. Actually Science and technology themselves also tend to do this...
I think addictions of any kind have a deeper and bigger cause and that ultimately a real sustainable solution requires recourse to broader and deeper diagnosis and prescription (Bruce Alexanders "The Globalization of Addiction" as well as Gabor Mate's "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" gesture at this need to some degree, especially the former book).

Anyway, none of this is meant to totally dismiss the thesis of your books (I've only read the "Peace between the sheets one"); There is definitely something to what you and Edna are saying and I do plan to read your newest book soon...I guess I'm Just trying to stay in "Recovery" myself (what I see myself as "recovering from" exactly is a long story but suffice to say that this "specialized solution" thing is certainly a part of it...).
take care,

--I-P

{The site owner (who is the person responding in this case) replied with longer response which was mostly in agreement I guess. (you can find the exchange by going to the "Humor" section of the site)}.

Later I posted the following in the "Inspiration" part of the site:

CONSENSUALITY SONGS

{note:I thought I coined the word "consensuality" but I just googled it and it turned up, though in a rather different sense than I mean it. What I am
referring to is the coming together of Inner and Outer Consensus
between (and within) Individual-Persons. Anyway, being a "Consensualist"
is by no means something exclusively related to Intimate
"relationships", but here are some old songs of mine that deal with in
that sense to some extent. There are Hindu (-esque), Chinese (-ish),
and Folk-Blues and Soul Ballad melodies and arrangements to the songs
respectively. The quotation is there to set the tone I guess. Its from
an old essay of mine. Like most statements of my ideals, its meant as a
clarifying and orienting statement; something to point a direction to
work toward rather than as a council of perfection. I am currently
working on an another essay on the subject. I'm sharing all this old stuff here
'cause I thought maybe it might inspire somebody –I-P}



"The body is the part of nature that we are most concretely. And the sexual
energy that is expressed through the body is not, anymore than nature
is, something to be exploited for the pleasure of a dissociated ego. As
Taoists, Tantrics, and other have long known, the purpose of sexual
energy is to create Life. That Life can be in the form of another being
or it can be in the form of greater Life and wholeness within and
between the individuals who are generating it. To put it in more modern
terms, sexual energy is the energy of evolution. We can evolve as a
species via reproduction and/or we can use that same energy to evolve
as Individuals. "
--from the Essay "Sex, Gender and Healthy Culture  by I-P Kerren Odori

SERPENT IN THE SKY No. 1


Jasmine smoke unraveling there
Thickening ages to hours
We’ve been waiting calmly aware
Feeling the presence of powers here and
Slowly to the rhythm of Life
So slowly as to leave us shaken
We espy in each others eyes
The Serpent has awakened and the
Serpent is rising...


Tantra Deva enter my night
Let me feel your Kundalini rise
Nothing false and nothing so bright
As the Light in my Yoginis eyes and
Sultry sunset smoldering skies
Mystery into the bargain;
Will we die or will we deny
The Serpent in the Garden of His
Sad satisfaction...


Dawn Creeps to the window again
Incense long since turned to ashes
Where two Lingered neither remain
But ecstasy silently flashes there and
There’ll be no uncoupling though
Neither hot passion and sighing;
Heaven above Heaven below:
The Serpents in the Sky and flying
Into the morning....


SERPENT IN THE SKY No. 2


Here where the Cherry Blooms
Although the summer days end
the Maiden, though with her Groom
Will always be a Maiden
The moon in the dewdrop lives
the Goddess in Our Lady
The Jade Gate receives and Gives;
A Goddess or a Baby..


And brave is she
for the dragons gone
(the red dragon)
wise is she
for the dragons gone
And she is a Person
Now Dragon is
Now Dragon is
The
Serpent in the Sky...


The Stalk rises in the spring
and stays on through the winter
The Bridegroom to become a King
The Jade Palace does enter
And may they Eternal lie
in Happiness together
May Phoenix and Serpent Fly
In blessedness and pleasure


And brave is He
For the Tigers gone
(The White Tiger)
Wise is He
For the Tigers Dead
And he is a Person
Now Tiger is
Now Tiger is
The
Serpent in the Sky...


TINKERS


Don’t expect me to connive
like every love song does
at the misery that turns your heart to me
or the desperation or the settling of old scores
with the father I will never be...


There’s a wound that you’ve been hiding from
I have one too
and it hurts to feel the sun shine down on it
It is ugly but it is apart of me and you
And that's not the part of friendship to forget


‘Cause the Devils not the only one who smiles at Sin
God does too, but its a different kind of Smile...
Theres a hole in both our buckets
Will we put more water in
Or practice bein’ tinkers for a while?


I will never just ignore the wino of the world
distracted by your conversation and your grace
theres no market for distractions here, no "guys and girls";
that kind'a money never was green in this place


Well you might think I am ruining the feeling tone
and all the magic of our incipient romance
but its not me who’s the wallflower here I’ll have you know
and this is just my way of asking you to dance..


‘Cause the Devils not the only one who smiles at Sin
God does too, but its a different kind of Smile...
There’s a hole in both our buckets
Will we put more water in
Or practice bein’ tinkers for a while?


ARE YOU SURE?


I am waiting for the question
that I ask of you
I am waiting for the question;
"Are you sure?"
"Are you sure you want to do this?
Is it in our highest purpose?
I am waiting for the question
"are you sure?"


"Are you asking heart and body?
Is it clear within your mind?
Are you checking intuition?
Are you sure?"
"Is there something you're gainsaying,
hiding, censoring, betraying,
Are you sincere or only playing?
Are you Sure?"


Bridge:
"Stop, in the name of Love"
Don't let us betray our love
for all of each other
for all of ourselves (repeat)


I have waited, taken careful aim
and still missed by a mile;
I'm not expecting something perfect
something pure
But If we dream will we awaken
if not well then well mistaken
well intended, undertaken?
Are you sure?


--BY I-P Kerren Odori

 

 

In response to this I was invited to start a blog on the site. My next post here will share some highlights from that blog.